Addiction
by Tukkus
Summary: "It's a gut-wrenching feeling—she realizes they're Emily and Alison, and they always will be and always have been so obsessed with each other... each other's drug. And no matter who or what came between them, they'd never stop being addicted to each other."
1. Chapter 1

I **know I haven't updated or written anything in a long time, but since the show just ended, I wanted to return and have a fresh start with a new story. I'm not sure if or when I'll revisit old stories (could be soon, could be never), but I wanted to start a new story. This story goes all the way back to somewhere in 5A after 5x06. Why? Well, because 5A Emison was some of my favorite Emison. They had so much potential back then. Of course I'm happy with how things ended up for them on the show, but they took WAY too long to make it happen. And they wasted all the build up that happened in 5A and ignored it! Anyways, I really enjoyed the Paige/Em/Ali dynamic of that time, so I wanted to revisit it.**

 _"It's a gut-wrenching feeling_ — _she realizes they're Emily and Alison, and they always will be and always have been so obsessed with each other... each other's drug. And no matter who or what came between them, they'd never stop being addicted to each other."_

* * *

1

Paige was stiff-faced as she walked into swim practice that day. She always felt a knot in her stomach when she came to practice these days because seeing Emily after their break up was a lot harder than she expected. For one, there was an everlasting aura of a blonde-haired former Queen Bee revived and stronger than ever since her return to Rosewood High School. And unfortunately, that aura tagged right on to Emily because, in Paige's eyes, she just couldn't seem to stop being manipulated by the blonde beauty.

"Hey, Paige."

The words were friendly and warm and came from Emily's mouth. She was unzipping her swim bag and pulling her swimsuit and swim cap out. When she didn't get a response, she shifted her eyes up to Paige. She looked back down again and continued getting her things out. But then her attention shifted to her phone when it made a faint pinging sound, and Paige wondered if this was _A_ or some other villain that was torturing Emily. She wanted to help because she was, of course, always worried about Emily and her safety. But she couldn't bring herself to ask because she felt like she would be overstepping since they weren't exactly anything anymore.

She grew more curious because Emily's eyes really were fixed on the text message. She fidgeted with the straps of her swim bag, then shoved her stuff back inside of the bag as if she were going to leave. Paige furrowed her eyebrows; it really did look like she was leaving.

"Hey..." She turned towards Paige, but was unable to meet eyes with her. "Can you please let Coach know that something unexpected came up? I have to go."

Before Paige could even respond, Emily began darting off, but Paige bent her arm out and hit her palm against the locker to block her from leaving. She raised her eyebrows, tilting her head to the side, and gave Emily an extremely interrogative look.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. "I'll cover for you, but you've got to tell me where you're going."

By the nervous expression on Emily's face, there was no way in hell that she was going to spill where she was headed.

"I can't do that," she breathed, shaking her head. "Never mind, then. I'll cover for myself."

She pushed past Paige's arm and walked out the doors of the locker room. Frustrated, Paige followed her. She followed her because she didn't like that Emily was being so secretive, even though they were broken up. She didn't like being left out of her life and kept in the dark.

Emily stepped into an empty classroom. Paige furrowed her eyebrows, ducking down by the door and peering in through a small slit in the door's window that wasn't covered. And surprisingly yet unsurprisingly, Emily was meeting up with none other than _Alison DiLaurentis_. She couldn't hear what they were talking about, but it sure looked secretive. They were leaning in close, whispering things. It felt just like old times, and Paige _hated_ that. She got the same knot in her stomach that she got all those years ago before Alison first disappeared. It was like Alison was still running the school, and it was awful. It was awful that the kids at school had given her this kind of control and power over them yet again.

"Is there any chance that he— _Cyrus_ —was the one who attacked you at your place?"

"I don't know, Em... I really don't know."

"You said you wanted to talk. So talk."

"Look, I really just wanted to apologize to you about what happened with Mona—"

"Don't. I'm not sure if your apology really means anything anymore, Ali. I don't know if I can trust you anymore... _how_ to trust you."

"I know I made a mistake, but I was afraid, okay? You have to understand."

"Can we not talk about this right now? I have swim practice and I'm gonna be late if I don't hurry up."

"Can I meet up with you after practice, then?"

She nodded her head.

Paige didn't hear what they were talking about, but she could see that Emily was heading towards the door. Quickly, she ran into the next empty classroom and hid inside until Emily was long gone, and probably had entered the locker room. Once it was all clear, she went back to the locker room herself.

* * *

After practice, the team headed back to the locker room to change again. Emily sighed, pulling her swim cap off, unleashing her long, wet hair. She pushed it back behind her shoulders, then picked up her normal clothes. She wrapped a towel around herself and skillfully changed underneath it. But the odd thing that Paige noticed was that she didn't leave after she was done changing— she sat down on the bench and just waited inside of the locker room.

Paige didn't question her aloud. She realized that it was pointless— Emily just wasn't willing to answer any of her questions, especially when they were relating to her friends. Especially Alison. Once she was done changing, she left the locker room.

Emily waited for a while until all her other teammates had left as well. Then, she speedily typed a message to Alison to tell her to meet up with her in the locker room. Soon enough, the blonde arrived, still dressed in her little floral dress. She smiled weakly at Emily before approaching her at her locker.

"Hey."

"Hi," Emily huffed quietly. "Did you wait at school this whole time?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I just went to the library."

"Can I even trust that? Or were you off meeting up with someone else?"

" _Em_ ," she said, tilting her head to the side. "You can trust me, I swear. Look, I know I made a mistake lying to you about what really happened with Mona—"

"It seems like ever since you got back, it's just been one lie after another! And I thought we were done with the secrets and the lies, Ali. I thought we were finally all going to trust each other. That's the only way we'll ever get through any of this!"

"I _know_ , and I'm _sorry_..."

"Are you? Because it really doesn't seem that way."

"What happened to you? I thought you forgave me. Just yesterday, you were saving me and being nice to me."

"Well, I wasn't gonna let that person hurt you, even if I was mad at you."

"Did you talk to Hanna or something? Did she convince you that I'm just too toxic for this group?"

"Hanna didn't say a thing."

Meanwhile, Paige didn't really leave school after changing back into her clothes. She hid out again, waiting to see why Emily was waiting so long after practice. She rolled her eyes when she saw Alison going inside of the locker room. It was unsurprising now. After waiting a while to be safe, she quietly stepped back inside of the locker room, but hid behind the open door so they wouldn't see her. This time, it was a lot easier to hear what they were talking about since she was actually inside of the same room as them.

"Em, I may have told you a couple of lies since I got back, but you have to know that the one thing that I didn't lie about was my feelings for you. Everything I told you that night was true. And what we did that night— that was _real_ , I swear."

Paige had to fight the urge to audibly gasp. Her worst nightmare was coming true: Emily and Alison didn't just have a secretive little friendship, there really was something going on between them. She had tried so hard in her mind to deny that possibility, to pretend like it was impossible, to believe that Emily was strong enough to not cave into Alison's manipulative ways after she broke her heart the first time all those years ago, but it happened.

"Ali..." she breathed. "You see the problem? I just can't tell if you're being sincere—"

"I _am_. And there's no point in me lying to you about this," Alison said.

"Maybe you just want somebody to be on your side, and you knew that I couldn't turn you down when you look at me like that," she swallowed hard.

She hit her back against the locker, sighing.

"How can I prove to you that I'm not lying to you about this?" Alison asked, her eyes looking pleading and desperate. "Em, if there's one thing I _need_ you to believe me about, it's this. I need you to believe me when I tell you that you mean something to me, and everything that's happened between us so far meant something to me. And it still does now."

Paige shifted her head so she could get a better look at them. She could see it in the expression on Emily's face that she was melting when she looked at the blonde. She was giving in— her chocolate eyes were melting. Her eyes were swallowing the blonde; she looked like she needed her to come closer. And Paige was fearful of what was going to happen next.

The strongest woman she knew had one damn big weakness: Alison DiLaurentis.

Her worst fears kept coming true.

When Paige looked up again, Emily's lips were pressed against Alison's. In fact, she had come from where she was standing and pushed Alison against the blue lockers, pinning Alison's wrists up above her head while she aggressively did work on her lips. She was practically devouring the girl. And Alison was kissing her back; her stomach was moving up and down rapidly.

Emily started kissing her neck, sucking on the skin roughly. Paige's jaw could've fallen off right at that moment, because she had never known that Emily was capable of being so aggressive. It seemed that Emily wasn't even the slightest bit concerned that she would leave a very visible mark on the girl's neck. Alison's eyes were shut and she was practically panting. She was clearly into this.

" _Em_ ," she let out a sultry moan.

Paige was never expecting to hear Alison DiLaurentis moaning because of Emily Fields.

And Paige didn't doubt that she loved the way it felt. There was no way she could fake that kind of enjoyment. However, she still believed that Alison had bad intentions when it came to _why_ she was doing this. She still believed that she was just letting Emily do this because she needed her support, since Emily had always had a soft spot for her and was unable to stop supporting her.

Finally, Emily backed off, letting go of Alison's wrists, letting her arms fall back to her sides. Alison's eyes remained shut and her back remained pressed against the locker. She panted heavily. Emily backed up against the locker across from her, shutting her eyes and panting as well.

"We shouldn't do this..." Emily swallowed hard with her eyes still shut. "Not here, not like this."

Alison didn't answer. Her eyes started to open.

Emily opened her eyes as well. She stared down at the floor.

"Can I take you home?" she asked.

It didn't seem like she meant anything by it, but maybe that was just Paige trying to deny reality. Alison nodded her head. Paige wedged herself further behind the door, worried that they would see her as they exited the locker room. And it wasn't that hard to see her since she wasn't hiding that well, but those two were clearly in a different world right now, so they didn't notice her at all.

And so they went off. Paige chose to believe that Emily simply drove Alison back to her house and they parted ways from there.

She wasn't oblivious. She was just in denial.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews, follows, and favorites so far! You guys are totally awesome! One thing I noted when I was re-watching some old 5A scenes (which I forgot) is that Emily had to quit the swim team after her shoulder injury! However, since I already wrote it like she's still on the team in the last chapter, we're just going to keep it that way.**

* * *

2

"Have you heard? _The_ Alison DiLaurentis has a _massive_ hickey on her neck! I mean, it's only been a little while since she got back, and she's already slutting it up with a new guy?"

Satisfaction running through her body, Paige felt a smug smile forming on her face as she heard a girl in the school hallway spread the news to one of her friends. Maybe she had been wrong about what was going on between Emily and Alison— maybe it was just a one time kiss and they sorted things out. Because now Alison was hooking up with some mystery dude, and there was no way that it could be—

Then she saw Emily dragging Alison by her arm into the girls' restroom rather hurriedly. There was a huge-ass scarf wrapped around Alison's neck, presumably to cover up her so-called "massive hickey," as the girl had described it. Paige swallowed hard, getting an increasingly unsettling feeling in her stomach when she saw them sneak into the bathroom, as if it were some kind of secret meeting. Quickly, Paige shoved her remaining books into her locker, slammed it shut, and followed them to the bathroom because she couldn't God damn control herself when it came to Emily Fields.

She barely opened the door, making sure that they couldn't hear it, and pressed her ear to the crack.

"Ali, you let your scarf _slip_ in class?"

"I'm sorry! I— I didn't think that anybody would see it."

"Well, _somebody_ did. People are talking about it."

"Let them talk. I'm used to people talking about me now. Nobody knows that it was..."

Instead of finishing her statement, the blonde let it trail off, dragging her eyes up to meet Emily's. Paige's face fell when, through the slit of the door, she unclearly saw Emily putting her hands on Alison's shoulders, squeeing them gently, standing tall behind her. They looked at their reflection in the mirror, both of their hearts pounding louder than they wanted. Emily reached over and moved Alison's scarf aside, exposing the skin on her neck. And then, Paige got a small glimpse of that _massive_ hickey on her neck. It really was.

It kept becoming more and more apparent that the person who gave her the hickey wasn't some random guy— it was Emily. And _that_ was haunting. That meant that Emily probably didn't just drop her off while she was taking her home the other day. It meant that they had been _hooking up_. Whether that meant that they were having sex or just making out, there was _something_ going on between them, and Paige didn't want any of that.

Emily reached into Alison's purse, pulling out a stick of concealer. It was almost as if she were so familiar with that bag, as if she knew exactly where everything was in it, and that meant that they clearly were very close, which was another annoying tidbit that was swirling around in Paige's messy pool of thoughts, further frustrating her.

Emily popped the cap off of the concealer stick, bringing the tip closer to the deep purple mark blemishing her neck.

"Here..."

"I should've done this from the start."

The brunette didn't respond, and simply ran the concealer on top of the mark, turning the discoloration into Alison's normal skin color. After she applied enough to cover the entire mark, Emily brought her hand to it, gently dabbing it with her fingers to blend the concealer in. Once it was flawlessly blended, Emily's fingers lingered on her neck for much longer than Paige would've liked to admit.

"Looks like it never happened," the blonde commented, still looking at their reflection in the mirror.

"Ali, we've gotta be more caref—"

She was cut off by Alison turning around, grabbing the back of Emily's neck, and pulling her head close so that their lips could touch. And Emily became incapable of stopping anything when it came to Alison.

"Ali... Someone might..."

For a moment, Paige swore she saw a hint of worry flash upon Alison's face, but it quickly disappeared. As did the two of them; Alison reconnected their lips, then started backing them into one of the bathroom stalls, almost pushing Emily inside of it. She locked the stall's door, and that was the last Paige saw of them. Paige felt tears building up in her eyes— this was a nightmare. They really couldn't even keep their hands off of each other at school? It was bad enough that they were giving each other hickeys _outside_ of school.

And in all the time that they were dating, Emily had never left a mark like that on _her_. In fact, she had never even left a mark. It felt like a silly thing to worry about, but to her, it was like a symbol of knowing that Emily was hers. But now? Emily was Alison's. Did that mean that while they were dating, Emily never _wanted_ her? At least not in the way that she seemed to be wanting Alison... _craving_ Alison.

Not wanting to hold the door any longer, Paige quietly stepped inside of the bathroom. She was hoping that they were too consumed with each other that they wouldn't hear her entering, but she was also hoping that they _weren't_ consumed with each other at all because... well, she freaking _hated_ the thought and sight of them together.

"Ali, seriously... people are already talking about you and us and everything happening with Bethany. What if—"

She was silenced again by the loud suctioning of their lips, which was just about as bad as nails against a chalkboard to Paige's ears. She didn't even know why she bothered to stay in the bathroom while this was happening— she didn't even know why she was doing _any_ of this. All she knew is that she wished that there were some way to make this toxic relationship end between them. She wished that she could go back to the days where Emily held her hand in the school hallways, kissed her sweetly, took her out to get food... She wanted to go back to the days where Alison was gone and everything in her life was finally starting to come together.

She then heard the rough sound of somebody's back hitting the stall's door. She saw the backs of Alison's heels and the fronts of Emily's sneakers, clearly indicating that the brunette had taken control of things.

"Mmph, _Em_ ," a muffled moan from the blonde echoed in the room.

Paige almost scoffed, but she stopped herself. They were _really_ doing this in the school's bathroom, and they would probably continue until the bell rang— or maybe even after. Unsure if she would vomit if she stayed for any longer, Paige silently opened the door a crack and wiggled out, pulling it shut again gently once she was out, leaving them to their toxic relationship, trying to think of other things to distract herself.

* * *

The next day, Paige avoided Emily until their unavoidable swim practice began.

"Hey..." Emily huffed out when she entered the locker room, looking a lot grumpier than usual.

Her demeanor had changed a bit in the last few days, ever since Paige caught her shoving her tongue down Alison's throat in the locker room the other day. She seemed _happier_ , generally, which was something else that made Paige sick. Not because Emily was happy— she _wanted_ Emily to be happy— but because _Alison_ was probably the one making her that way. Maybe she liked whatever game Alison was playing with her, or something like that.

But today? Things were different.

Today, Emily looked frustrated. Unhappy. Annoyed. She didn't have the same glow that she had.

"Everything all right?" Paige asked, looking over at the tanned girl. She didn't know why she was even bothering to ask, because Emily clearly didn't give much of a damn about her. The last time they hung out was when they went to the school's _Frozen_ sing along together, but Paige figured that was before whatever she had going on with Alison had begun. That was back when Paige had real hope that she and Emily could make things work, and that they could find their way back to each other.

"Yeah," she lied, avoiding eye contact.

Paige rolled her eyes. She regretted asking because she _knew_ that Emily would do this— that she would lie to her and pretend like everything was okay. It wasn't like she was supposed to tell her what was going on in her life (Emily had always had her own little secrets going on with her group of friends, even before Alison came back), but it just hurt that she was shutting her out.

"Really? It doesn't seem that way," Paige said.

"I'm _fine_ ," she insisted, pulling her swimsuit out of her swim bag.

"You're not, but you're not gonna tell me what's going on. I know that," Paige said bitterly. "Whatever, Emily."

"There's nothing going—"

"Is this about Alison?"

"What?" Emily asked incredulously, but it sounded so fake.

Paige scoffed.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me... we both know you're not."

"I'm not! Why would I be upset about her?"

"How would I know? You're both in your own little world, always. You're always whispering around the halls. You're always close together. You think I haven't noticed, Em? You're letting her manipulate you. _Again_."

"That is _not_ what's going on," Emily shook her head. "You're analyzing everything too much. Ali's hurt, I'm just trying to be there for her."

"Sure, if that's what you wanna tell yourself so that you can sleep at night, then fine."

"What is your problem, Paige? I don't have to explain anything to you, anyway."

"Yeah, you don't. You might think that you're not my problem anymore just because we broke up, but it doesn't work like that, Em. We might be broken up, but I can't just turn off a switch and stop caring about you."

"It sounds more like you're _interrogating_ me."

"I'm just trying to protect you. That's what I've always done."

"Well, I don't need to be protected, okay? I can handle myself perfectly fine."

"Can you? Because she hasn't been back that long, and you're already letting her manipulate you. What? She gives me and you and everyone she's hurt some half-assed apologies one night, and you just—"

"Don't. I'm not talking about this with you."

Emily slammed her locker shut, picked up all her belongings, and moved to another row of lockers to change. Paige pressed her lips together, feeling frustrated. She wanted to become a part of Emily's life again, but she ended up just shutting herself out more.

* * *

After swim practice was over, Emily rushed out of the locker room. The only thing relieving Paige was that she wasn't sticking around for another locker room "talk" with Alison. It only furthered the idea in Paige's head that there was some conflict between the two girls, who had been closer than usual recently.

Emily walked outside the school building, ready to begin her walk home after practice. But when she looked up at the parking lot, she saw Alison standing there, waiting outside of her car with a very apologetic smile on her face. Emily pressed her lips together, standing still for a moment. Hesitantly, she began taking slow steps towards Alison and her car.

"What are you doing here, Ali?"

"I thought that I could pick you up after practice... so you don't have to walk home by yourself."

"It's not a long—"

"Get in, Em. Come on."

Alison's face was pleading, and the apologetic expression sure was believable. Emily contemplated it for a moment before sighing deeply and pulling the car door open. She got inside, sitting down in the passenger seat. She stared at the radio controls in car, not wanting to look over at the blonde.

"Em, would you just look at me? Please?"

" _How_ can I do that? This keeps getting worse and worse, and I just keep hoping that you'll actually be honest for once in your life."

"I haven't done anything yet..."

"But you're _going_ to, Ali. We all had this fight last night. You can't identify Cyrus as your kidnapper. You can't let an innocent man go to jail for something that didn't even happen."

"He's not _innocent_! I told you what he did to me. I told you that he robbed me, used me... made me feel _worthless_. I told you everything. Why can't you understand? I know the others don't because I didn't tell them what he did, but _you_?"

Emily looked at her sympathetically. She knew how much the blonde had been through, but she loathed the web of lies that she and the other girls were being sucked into again.

"I know he hurt you, and trust me, I _hate_ him for what he did to you. But he didn't do what you're gonna send him to jail for. He didn't kidnap you for two years."

"God, I just want everything to go away, and everything would be easier if I identified him! He'd be locked up and we could move on with our lives. I wish I didn't tell that stupid story about being kidnapped in the first place!"

Emily sighed.

"It's not too late to tell the truth to the police..."

Alison looked at her like she was crazy.

" _No_. I can't do that now. You know it."

"And _this_ is better? Wouldn't it feel good to get everything off your chest?"

She stayed silent.

"Ali..."

"Can we not do this?"

"Then what do you want to do? Do you want to kiss me and pretend like everything's okay? Because it's not. Everything is _not_ okay. I finally thought that we were done with the lies."

Ignoring her, Alison started the car. Emily rolled her eyes, frustrated, but relaxed her body against the seat, deciding that it was no use right now.

* * *

"You let him go."

"What?" the blonde asked, although she knew _exactly_ what the other girl was talking about.

Emily, who was standing in the doorway of Alison's bedroom, entered, shutting the door behind her. Alison swallowed hard, her eyes struggling to meet the tanner girl. The blonde was sitting on her bed with her head pressed against the back wall. Emily took a seat on the bed, scooting to the center of it.

"Thank you," she breathed, "for doing the right thing. I know... I know it must've been hard... with everybody watching you and all."

Alison nodded her head, but still wouldn't meet eyes with the brunette.

"So, you're done being mad?"

"I— I wasn't mad."

"Yes you were, Em. You can admit that."

The brunette took a deep breath.

"Okay, I was mad. But only because I thought that you were gonna make a really bad decision after I've defended you against everyone. I wanted to be right about you, and I am. I know that now."

"I'm still making you all lie for me..."

"Ali, I'm here for you, okay? I know that you've been through a lot, and I told you that we're all gonna do this for you to protect you... one last time. But we can't do this again and again. This is it."

"I know."

"Okay."

Alison bit her lip. She finally managed to look over at Emily, who had her legs crossed. Her eyes were off staring at the pictures on Alison's desk absentmindedly. She seemed like she was really thinking hard.

Suddenly, Alison's dad showed up in the doorway. Even though the door was open, he hit the actual door a few times to get their attention. Both the girls' heads turned to look at him.

"Hello, girls. I didn't mean to disturb you two, but I wanted to talk to you, Alison," Kenneth said, looking at his daughter nervously. "I just got a call from my boss, and he wants me in Harrisburg for a few meetings. They're important meetings, but I don't want you to be alone, considering that we now know that your kidnapper is still out there, and that horrid person attacked you the other night... I'm trying to get Jason to come home so that he can watch you, but I'll cancel the trip if—"

"She can stay at my house," Emily suddenly offered.

Kenneth and Alison both raised their eyebrows, looking at the brunette curiously.

"Emily, that's very sweet of you, but you don't have to do that," Kenneth shook his head.

"No, it's no problem, I promise," she said. "My mom has been wanting to check up on Ali for a while now. She's back from visiting Texas."

Kenneth looked over at his daughter to see how she was reacting.

"All right," he nodded his head. "I'm fine with her staying at your house, as long as your mother is fine with it, too. Have her give me a call, please?"

"Will do," Emily smiled sweetly.

"Okay. Thank you, Emily," he said, tapping on the door with his fingernails, clearly looking like he wanted to say something. He lingered in the doorway for a bit longer while both the girls tried to figure him out. He suddenly decided to speak up: "Thank you, not just for letting her stay at your house, but... thank you for always being there for her. Taking care of her. She talks very highly of you."

Emily just smiled while Kenneth found his way out, leaving the girls alone again. Heat rose to Alison's cheeks because of what her father revealed.

"You've talked about me... to your dad?"

Alison rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile.

"I didn't want him to think that nobody's been there for me, especially after that person attacked me here. It's nothing big..."

Emily wasn't convinced, and continued smiling like a fool so hard that Alison had to roll her eyes another time. The brunette took a leap of faith and leaned her body across the bed to place a gentle, chaste kiss to the blonde's lips, which the other girl gladly accepted. It was short, but both of them were smiling at each other like fools afterwards, blushing like crazy. And Emily realized that it was the first time they had kissed like _that_ , at least since she got back. It was so innocent and different from how they had been locking lips before. All those other encounters were hastier and more suggestive. For once, it felt pure. Emily felt like she could see the real Alison, finally. The good one. The one she had always wanted.

"What was that for?" the blonde questioned, trying to downsize her stupid smile, but was failing miserably.

"I don't know. Just because..."


End file.
